Last week was unbelievably busy as Todd was working late every single night and all through the weekend on our church's Christmas production. It was a very, very long week for all of us.
However, it most definitely paid off.
The production was excellent. I was very impressed and super proud of my dear Todd. :-)
So now, we're getting back into the groove of things.
This has been especially hard on Afton.
She is at that age of fighting sleep tooth and nail! It's not like I have a magic trick that always works either.
Everyday it's something different. I try everything!
Today I have given up (for now). I've been trying to get her down for over an hour, so now she is sitting with me as I blog.
I <3 her.
Sometimes I find myself getting very frustrated with her. She is so unbelievably precious, but also unbelievably stubborn.
When I get frustrated I just remind myself that she is doing the best she can with what she knows. She is not crying in order to be difficult or make my life hard. She is simply letting me know that something is wrong and she doesn't know how to fix it.
That is my job. That is why I am a mommy. I take care of all of her needs and wants and grow her up with love and compassion.
Today as she cried and I grew frustrated I asked God for patience and wisdom and understanding. He's the one that blessed me with this beautiful child. He knows what her needs are and He wants to equip me to take care of them, but if I don't ask I may have to learn the hard way.
After I prayed, Afton and I just sat in the chair and looked at our hands. Suddenly all was well and I knew that God was granting me a moment of peace so that I could recollect myself and do better next time.
As I looked at our hands I thought about what Todd mentioned earlier last week.
Her hands are so tiny and just learning to reach out and grasp for things that she sees.
When she was born they only grasped our fingers. Her tiny fingers, just long enough to wrap around one of ours, a perfect fit.
Now she's reaching for everything. Her hands big and strong enough to pick up toys and put them in her mouth. Controlled enough to reach for my pretty necklace and pull (hard).
Soon her hands will help her crawl across the floor and then pull up onto the furniture. Then, she will use her tiny little hands to balance as she toddles across our living room floor.
Her hands will hold onto the handlebars of a tricycle and dolls. Soon she will be using her hands to pick up a book to read and then using her hands to write out her name.
Her tiny little hands will grow bigger and then they will fit perfectly into our hands as we cross the street and walk through the mall.
One day, all too soon I'm sure, she will flutter her hand at me as she walks out of the room because she is irritated with a decision I have made. She will use her hands to steer a car for the first time.
I dread the day she comes home and that precious little hand is in the hand of a strange boy.
What will we do then?
Those precious hands that once only grasped our fingers will be holding onto an unworthy boy.
On the day that her daddy gives her away she will loop her hand through his arm and I hope that she remembers how much she used to love to hold his hand. I hope she remembers how much we loved her and cherished her.
I hope that when the day comes and she has a sweet baby of her own, she will understand just how much we loved her when her little one wraps his tiny little hand around her finger.
Only then will she understand. A perfect fit.
